It is Memorial Day weekend. For many of us, that means getting together with family and friends, eating grilled food, celebrating the unofficial start of summer and doing outdoors stuff (I am going fishing with my daughter-in-law!) In the midst of the fun – and let’s face it, after a year of lockdown, it feels pretty good to get outside with people again – my hope is we don’t lose sight of the reason the holiday was established in the first place.

Memorial Day is a day set aside for remembering those who have died fighting for our country. I have spent quite a bit of time reading first hand accounts of the American Civil War the past few months. Memorial Day has its roots in the Civil War. Sometimes we can forget just how devastating the war between the states really was. Let me give you some sobering statistics.

• 620,000 men were killed in the Civil War. That is more deaths than the combination of the seven other wars America has fought from the Revolutionary War in 1775 until the Korean War in 1953 (including the two World Wars.) Only after the Vietnam War did the combined total of deaths tip the scales.
• Over 4 percent of the population of the United States were casualties of the war (killed, wounded, missing in action, captured) and 2 percent were killed. If that same percentage were applied today, 12 million people (think the entire state of Pennsylvania) would be casualties and 6 million (think the entire state of Indiana) would be killed.
• There were more casualties in three days of fighting at Gettysburg than in the entirety of the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812 combined (almost 11 years.)
• Nearly one in four men who marched off to war never returned home.

Since the deaths were so high during the Civil War, there was great support in creating a day to honor the war dead. Three years after the Civil War ended, General John Logan, who was the head of the veterans’ group, the Grand Army of the Republic, issued a decree that citizens should take to the cemeteries on May 30, 1868 to decorate the graves of the 620,000 soldiers who died during the nation’s war. There were several communities that were already taking part in local Decoration Days, particularly in the South. Logan’s decree was the first to call the nation to observe the war dead on a single day. Logan’s proclamation resonated with people across the nation. Over 5,000 people came to Arlington National Cemetery to decorate the graves of 20,000 Union and Confederate soldiers. That date caught on and was known as Decoration Day. By 1890, all of the northern states had adopted it as a holiday. Many southern states resisted the May 30 date and observed their own dates for Decoration Day. However, after WWI, the meaning of the day was changed to honor all fallen service members killed in conflict, not just the veterans of the Civil War. After this, all states, whether they be northern or southern, observed the May 30 date as a solemn holiday.

Memorial Day (it was officially renamed in 1967 by an act of Congress) was a big deal to the Civil War generation, but it also a big deal to many who remain today who have lost a friend or a family member in service to our country. In the midst of our good times, sometimes we can forget that the day is set aside to honor their sacrifice. So here are my suggestion on how you can observe the day honorably.

• Find a veteran or an active duty military member and thank them. If they have served during times of conflict, more than likely they knew someone who died. Shake their hand, salute them, thank them on behalf of you and your family.
• Fly the flag. If you can put it at half-mast, do so until noon. The official observance is to raise the flag to the top of the mast and then drop it to half-mast first thing in the morning. At noon, it is to be raised to full staff again until the sun goes down. If you don’t have a flagpole that allows you to move it in this fashion, a black ribbon on the top of your mast serves the same purpose.
• Take a moment and remember. Show you care. Don’t get so lost in your summertime fun that you don’t take a brief moment and reflect. If you don’t know anyone who has died in the service of our country, go take a look at a memorial marker at the local VFW or in your town square. Memorize a name and remember them.
• Wear a poppy on your lapel. Poppies have become synonymous with Memorial Day observances and are a great visual of your support for the families with fallen loved ones.

Have a wonderful weekend.