Hall of Fame baseball manager, Leo Durocher, was known for his inability to get along with anyone. He was known as Leo the Lip. He argued with umpires (he was thrown out of 95 games in his career), fought with his players, never cared for his general managers. He won games and turned average teams into contenders, but his fiery temper and difficult ways wore thin on every team he managed.

I was following a lead from a business colleague. He had given me the name of a business owner who needed marketing help. I thanked him for the lead and he left me with this warning, "He is good at what he does, but beware. He has been known to be a jerk!”

What would you do with that piece of information? Brace yourself for abuse? Steel your gut for what will eventually be undue criticism? Paint the new prospect with the color of fear? Psychology does its best to inform us of the reasons people act the way they do. For instance, a person who lacks self-awareness coupled with low self-esteem may be loudly critical of everyone and everything around them in an attempt to keep anyone from rising above their withered ego. Heaven help us all when they are put in charge of anything! Have you met that person? I have! I am not a psychologist. I am a marketer and a business owner. I don’t have the credentials to fix someone’s bad life experiences, but I still have to deal with highly critical, illogical, consternated, difficult customers. What do you do with them? I will tell you that marketing can sometimes help alleviate the mounting pressure in these types of business relationships.

Where marketing can help

There is tremendous pressure at the top of any organization, especially if it includes hitting a sales projection that is not easily attained. Unless you have been there, it is hard to imagine the hand-wringing worry that accompanies the person in charge of these decisions. One little detail out of line can skew your momentum and throw your sales direction off course. That can make anyone hard to live with. However, when marketing is done correctly, it will help you meet sales goals and put some metrics to your success in accomplishing your goals. I have found that pointing this out to the difficult customer helps alleviate their mounting stress, but not before I must prove it to them. That’s a fair ask from someone who is paying for marketing to work for them to achieve a sales goal. I tell all our customers the same thing: you should expect your marketing to lead customers to a point of a sales decision. When you can show your customer this fact, they begin to view good marketing as a key to helping them maintain their momentum.

Key #1: Become the difficult customer’s trusted vendor. Many are the worries of the business decision maker. Position yourself as a solution, not another burden.

Set the boss up to be a winner

It is easy to pick at the man at the top, isn’t it? The boss can be the perennial idiot in the eyes of the average employee. Put yourself in their shoes. You are given the task of scoring a win for your company and leading people who are forever second-guessing your leadership. There are few people who praise the boss in this scenario, so why not set him up to succeed? Make their task easier, not more difficult. When we communicate with the boss, we like to say things like "your marketing is working well for the company,” not "my ideas are working for your company.” Let them own the win because they were the one who had to put their neck on the line to run with your ideas. Reward their risk. If there are disgruntled employees that you are dealing with within a company, be careful not to jump on their criticism bandwagon, even if you agree with them. Sow seeds of stability, not fertilizer on the rows of discontentment. Is that kissing up? I like to think of it as recognizing the contribution of the boss to the process.

Key #2: Become the person the boss can confide in, not another antagonist that snipes at their performance.

Tell them the truth even when the truth is ugly

There are times when I have to say hard things to a difficult customer. I’m not trying to be mean to them, I am trying to be honest. I have had many situations when such a customer will get angry because the truth is not what they wanted to hear. Can you relate to this? Here is what I have learned. First, I have an obligation to tell the truth, especially as it pertains to what I am being paid to do – help a company market their products and services. I am not paid to be a yes man, I am paid to improve their marketing. If something is in the way of effective marketing, I have to point it out. Second, I am not responsible for another person’s reaction to the truth, be it good, bad or indifferent. Third, I can control how I present the truth. I can do it in a threatening way that grabs them by the throat, or I can do it in a way that shows them the flaw, but with a solution attached to it. In the long run, taking the latter approach will win you more respect and more business.

Leo Durocher once said, "I never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.”

Key #3: There will be times when you are going to disagree with a difficult customer. Be honest with them and show them respect in the process, even if they don’t deserve it.