I ran into an old friend I had not seen since we were in high school several decades ago. We had about 15 minutes to talk before we both had to be on our way. We asked the typical stuff like what do you do for a living, where do you live, and how many kids do you have? For 15 minutes we condensed three decades into a summary of life at 30,000 feet. Then he shared with me one of those details that changed his life. A few years ago, his oldest daughter, who was in college at the time, was in an automobile accident that left her paralyzed from the chest down. Suddenly, he and his family were thrown in a different direction. He shared how they had made adjustments to everything they did, from where they go on vacation to the vehicles they drive. But beyond the way they go about life, this event reshaped my friend from the inside out. How could you go through something like this and it not change you?

We often wear the moniker of our job. You may be Debbie the Sales Rep or Joe the Accountant. As important as it is to be known as an expert in your particular field and industry, people are more complex than the job title on their business card. My friend knows floor coverings inside and out – particularly carpet. He is one of the most knowledgeable people on that topic that I have met. However, I know him more by the biggest trial of his life and how he has adjusted his lifestyle to accommodate it. I believe it is called character. It has required incredible perseverance, keeping a positive attitude and holding onto his integrity. It has reshaped who he is.

I find that there is value in recognizing the person behind the job title. It may be my age, but I am finding that position and titles mean very little to me. I am looking for character behind the job description. Not everyone will let you go there. Not everyone has anything to show you beyond their job title. I realize there are some barriers to entry. But I have found that whenever someone will give you a glimpse on the inside, you have an opportunity to make a connection with the person and those relationships go beyond business, but they are good for business. What I am describing requires trust- and trust in business is rare.

Here is the thing I have realized: if you want trust, you have to be a trustworthy person yourself. So what shapes you? Who is impacting you? You can’t fake character. It may be worth examining your own motives and actions from the inside out and working on you. And it may be worth looking for people who have high character and imitating what you see. Let them shape you.

My friend shared with me how his daughter’s accident has helped him be more open to others with needs. It enlarged the size of his heart. In 15 minutes, he made an impact on me. What impacts who you really are?